What’s the Real Meaning You Are Giving It?
Suzie is an accomplished professional looking for work. Each day, Suzie gets up, puts on her best outfit, does her hair and make-up, and sets out for meetings and interviews. She shows up; she knows her stuff, and she looks the part. But for some reason, Suzie doesn’t get any callbacks or job offers.
After months of repeatedly setting out day after day, she starts to get frustrated and resentful. She’s discouraged, and slowly but surely her ego starts to get the best of her.
As she walks into interviews now, she hears her inside voice telling her things like “You’re not good enough,” “This is a waste of time,” “You’ll never land this job.” Things start getting even more grim for Suzie, and life feels tough.
When asked about her situation one day, Suzie replies, “I’m so tired of all of this rejection. I can’t handle it anymore. I don’t know if I’m meant to do this.”
Her friend looks at her, sensing her frustration and resentment and asks her what’s truly going on.
Suzie goes into great detail about all of the interviews and meetings she has been on and talks about how hard it is to get up each day and put on a smile to walk into another interview just to face more rejection.
Then her friend goes on to validate what she’s experiencing. “I get that you’re not getting callbacks or offers, and that’s tough, but let me ask you, what is the meaning that you are giving this?”
Suzie pauses and reflects. She comes back with all of the answers that she’s given herself over the past few months. “They’re sexist, racist, ageist”, and she continues from there about all of the things she’s told herself the past few months.
As she speaks the words, slowly her anger turns to laughter. She can’t help but laugh at the foolishness of it all and the false meaning she has given to this. She realizes that this isn’t about her at all.
There are possibly dozens if not hundreds of other people applying for these positions, and these managers and department heads are making the best decision that they can based on what they know. It doesn’t mean she’s under qualified or over qualified, too this or too that. It just means this wasn’t her job to have.
This realization was a huge breakthrough for Suzie and allowed her the clarity to free herself from these false meanings that were making her so unhappy and resentful. Life stopped feeling so difficult to Suzie and she started to appreciate the little achievements that she was making.
Does any of this story sound familiar to you?
Whether it’s a job, relationship, promotion, business deal, rejection is a feeling that is tough to ignore, and a huge hit to the ego. No matter how confident you are, rejection stings.
Can you look at it in a different way?
Consider asking yourself these questions and see if this opens up a new perspective for yourself;
- Can you separate the reality of the situation from the meaning that you are giving it?
- Is it possible that the Universe is working for you as opposed to against you and that there is a reason this is happening?
- What could be a possible opportunity here?
Life can be tough, but we can make it even harder on ourselves if we allow our minds and our ego to take hold of the situation and bring us down this negative path.
If you give a situation specific meaning, you are allowing this to run amok in your mind, and further expanding the negativity in your world.
Choose to see the reality for what it is, and not the meaning that you decide to give it. Remember, even that is a choice.
If you are going through something today or right now, ask yourself, what is the meaning that you are giving this?